Misconceptions About Ex-Christians and Atheists
I get weary of the same misconceptions about my deconversion from evangelical Christianity and fundamentalists' ideas about atheists. So, I am dividing this post into two parts. The first deals with misconceptions about my own deconversion from fundamentalist Christianity, and the second deals with some prevalent evangelical misconceptions about atheism.
I think I speak for many other deconverted fundamentalists when I say I did NOT "choose" to become an atheist for any of the following reasons:
1. Someone in the Church "hurt" me or I saw people being "bad" Christians.
No, no, no. Sure, I saw people being obnoxious all the time. Actually, in my experience, some fundamentalists have proven to be some of the most under-handed, back-biting snakes in the grass that I have encountered. However, they have absolutely nothing to do with my deconversion. Zip. Zilch. Nada. No, I just wrote it off as them "not being right with God" and went about my life. No amount of bad behaviour from Christians would have made me stop believing.
2. I wanted to go and "sin."
Nope. I did my best to be a godly woman and live a godly life. I did not want to be a "worldly" woman. There was no drinking, sex, or dancing for me. I had no desire to do those things; my church always said they were wrong. Imbibing was a sin. Sex was treated like the biggest sin of all (for reasons that still elude me). And dancing, from the fundamentalist viewpoint, is all about sex. They don't realize that, although dancing can be about sex if one chooses for it to be, it's most often simply about moving to music,which is just fun! I can say that I have danced frequently since my deconversion, and I have never once been overcome with lust to the point of tearing off my SO's clothes on the dance floor.
3. I got mad at God.
Nyet. Never did. I was one of those Christians that believed that everything that happened was according to God's will. While I have always been a worrier (which I was taught was also a sin), I never got angry.
4. I CHOSE to stop believing of my own accord.
Again, no. I could not have chosen to stop believing any more than I can choose to believe now. I earnestly believed it was all true.
The reality is, I stopped believing because the house of cards that was my faith began to fall around me. The more I learned, the less I could make believable excuses. Logic kicked in, and when I started breaking the restraints of fear and guilt that organized religion binds us with, there was no going back. I consider myself lucky to be one of the ones that broke free.
Now for part two. Atheists are not:
1. People who choose not to believe in a deity.
I'll pose this as a question for you, believers: Do you choose not to believe in Allah, or the many Hindu gods? Do you choose not to believe in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny? Or that aliens are abducting and probing people as you read this? Probably not. You don't consciously choose to disbelieve these things; you simply don't believe them. Why? Because there is no proof. Yes, I've heard many arguments for the Bible's validity, but what most evangelicals don't realize is that the Muslims have many arguments for the Quran's validity, many of them just as good, if not better, than the ones defending the Bible.
2. Trying to prove God does not exist.
Most atheists, including myself, will concede that there is a possibility that a deity exists, though it seems unlikely. There is simply no proof for it. We argue against the idea from a rational point of view. It is not that we are "in denial of god's existence," something I often heard pastors say about atheists in Sunday morning services.
I, for one, believe that presenting the fallacies of fundamentalist Christianity is important because it is something that affects all of us in this nation: gays have been denied the right to marry largely because of the archaic idea that "homosexuality is an abomination," pseudo-science has wormed its way into some schools under the title of "intelligent design," and women are still looked at as mere "helpmates" as opposed to the equals they are in a relationship and society. Freethinking is inhibited by these ideologies, and that is always dangerous.
3. Living lives that are empty without God.
This is truly laughable. This is something I've heard for years, and believed must be true, for how could anyone be happy without knowing God? The reality is, life is the same for me as it was when I was a believer. In some ways it's better. A lot of worry has been lifted. I'm still a worrier, always have been, guess I always will be, but at least now I'm not constantly trying to figure out if God approves of this or disproves of that, and wondering if I'm "in his will." I have heard other deconverts say that life has more meaning for them and they appreciate it more as an atheist since they are no longer just existing until they move on to the afterlife.
4. Amoral.
This is one of my favorites. It's as if no one in the world can possibly have any morals without God, more specifically for evangelicals, the God of the Bible. The conscience preceded Jesus by thousands of years. Are my own morals the same as they were when I was a fundamentalist? Absolutely not. They changed when I started thinking for myself. There are things I thought were wrong when I was a believer that I am now okay with, and things I thought were okay as a believer that I now abhor. I think the Wiccan version of The Golden Rule (which, incidentally, is found in nearly every religion) sums it all up very nicely: "Harm none." If we all lived by this rule, the world would be a better place.
If and when I think of more, I will add them to this post. The list seems a little short; I'm sure I missed a few. Having experienced both sides of the fundamentalist coin, I'm torn between annoyance and amusement when it comes to these misconceptions. Atheists don't spend nearly as much time thinking about the Christian God as fundamentalists think they do, though I, and other ex-Christians, may do so more frequently. Ultimately, I don't think I've ever met an ex-Christian who regretted learning the truth. Free thought is a precious gift, one I'm happy to have received.
I think I speak for many other deconverted fundamentalists when I say I did NOT "choose" to become an atheist for any of the following reasons:
1. Someone in the Church "hurt" me or I saw people being "bad" Christians.
No, no, no. Sure, I saw people being obnoxious all the time. Actually, in my experience, some fundamentalists have proven to be some of the most under-handed, back-biting snakes in the grass that I have encountered. However, they have absolutely nothing to do with my deconversion. Zip. Zilch. Nada. No, I just wrote it off as them "not being right with God" and went about my life. No amount of bad behaviour from Christians would have made me stop believing.
2. I wanted to go and "sin."
Nope. I did my best to be a godly woman and live a godly life. I did not want to be a "worldly" woman. There was no drinking, sex, or dancing for me. I had no desire to do those things; my church always said they were wrong. Imbibing was a sin. Sex was treated like the biggest sin of all (for reasons that still elude me). And dancing, from the fundamentalist viewpoint, is all about sex. They don't realize that, although dancing can be about sex if one chooses for it to be, it's most often simply about moving to music,which is just fun! I can say that I have danced frequently since my deconversion, and I have never once been overcome with lust to the point of tearing off my SO's clothes on the dance floor.
3. I got mad at God.
Nyet. Never did. I was one of those Christians that believed that everything that happened was according to God's will. While I have always been a worrier (which I was taught was also a sin), I never got angry.
4. I CHOSE to stop believing of my own accord.
Again, no. I could not have chosen to stop believing any more than I can choose to believe now. I earnestly believed it was all true.
The reality is, I stopped believing because the house of cards that was my faith began to fall around me. The more I learned, the less I could make believable excuses. Logic kicked in, and when I started breaking the restraints of fear and guilt that organized religion binds us with, there was no going back. I consider myself lucky to be one of the ones that broke free.
Now for part two. Atheists are not:
1. People who choose not to believe in a deity.
I'll pose this as a question for you, believers: Do you choose not to believe in Allah, or the many Hindu gods? Do you choose not to believe in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny? Or that aliens are abducting and probing people as you read this? Probably not. You don't consciously choose to disbelieve these things; you simply don't believe them. Why? Because there is no proof. Yes, I've heard many arguments for the Bible's validity, but what most evangelicals don't realize is that the Muslims have many arguments for the Quran's validity, many of them just as good, if not better, than the ones defending the Bible.
2. Trying to prove God does not exist.
Most atheists, including myself, will concede that there is a possibility that a deity exists, though it seems unlikely. There is simply no proof for it. We argue against the idea from a rational point of view. It is not that we are "in denial of god's existence," something I often heard pastors say about atheists in Sunday morning services.
I, for one, believe that presenting the fallacies of fundamentalist Christianity is important because it is something that affects all of us in this nation: gays have been denied the right to marry largely because of the archaic idea that "homosexuality is an abomination," pseudo-science has wormed its way into some schools under the title of "intelligent design," and women are still looked at as mere "helpmates" as opposed to the equals they are in a relationship and society. Freethinking is inhibited by these ideologies, and that is always dangerous.
3. Living lives that are empty without God.
This is truly laughable. This is something I've heard for years, and believed must be true, for how could anyone be happy without knowing God? The reality is, life is the same for me as it was when I was a believer. In some ways it's better. A lot of worry has been lifted. I'm still a worrier, always have been, guess I always will be, but at least now I'm not constantly trying to figure out if God approves of this or disproves of that, and wondering if I'm "in his will." I have heard other deconverts say that life has more meaning for them and they appreciate it more as an atheist since they are no longer just existing until they move on to the afterlife.
4. Amoral.
This is one of my favorites. It's as if no one in the world can possibly have any morals without God, more specifically for evangelicals, the God of the Bible. The conscience preceded Jesus by thousands of years. Are my own morals the same as they were when I was a fundamentalist? Absolutely not. They changed when I started thinking for myself. There are things I thought were wrong when I was a believer that I am now okay with, and things I thought were okay as a believer that I now abhor. I think the Wiccan version of The Golden Rule (which, incidentally, is found in nearly every religion) sums it all up very nicely: "Harm none." If we all lived by this rule, the world would be a better place.
If and when I think of more, I will add them to this post. The list seems a little short; I'm sure I missed a few. Having experienced both sides of the fundamentalist coin, I'm torn between annoyance and amusement when it comes to these misconceptions. Atheists don't spend nearly as much time thinking about the Christian God as fundamentalists think they do, though I, and other ex-Christians, may do so more frequently. Ultimately, I don't think I've ever met an ex-Christian who regretted learning the truth. Free thought is a precious gift, one I'm happy to have received.
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